Anaerobian victory at Tuesday Night World Championships
report courtesy of Anaerobian Wire Services

report filed June 2003

Hypoxia, Anaerobia (AWS)
10 June 2003

Mass celebration turned into sporadic rioting in Anaerobia's capital early this morning, as word of an Anaerobian victory at the Tuesday night World Championships in Santa Rosa reached this tiny, cycling-crazed nation.

      Gavin Chilcott (Anaerobian National Team) led a squad of four Anaerobians to their first victory of the season, breaking away several times in the race. Teammate Mike Charleton placed second in the field sprint to garner a 5th place for the proud yet essentially barren nation, on the Bulgaria-Paraguay border.

      Early groups got off the front in this fast-moving race, and the Anaerobian plan was to have representation in every move by Chilcott or Pepper, with komrades Ben Standish (Anaerobia) and Charleton waiting until the end of the race to respond with a strong sprint. Early on, Chilcott got off in a promising early move. Meanwhile Pepper was not at the front and thus in poor position for counter-attack.

      When the early break did come back, the counterattack did not have Pepper in it. "I'm not sure which excuse I should use for my inability to be aggressive and go fast," he said. "Either it was poor positioning on my new bike, a painful new saddle, too much or too little water before the race, or maybe that I had the song 'The Candyman' looping through my head throughout the ride, driving me nuts and making it impossible to concentrate," said Pepper.

      With approximately nine laps remaining, Gavin attacked again, taking two other riders with him, a Rocknasium and a NorCal Velo rider. Again Rocknasium and Pepper took up chores at the front, discouraging chasing moves, and the breakaway never came back. Meanwhile, field sprinter Ben Standish was having a difficult day and abandoned. Mike Charleton was present and active at the front the entire time, and when the lap cards came out, Pepper and Charleton organized themselves at the front of the field.

      Off the front, Chilcott attacked strongly, dropping his two breakmates to show a clean set of wheels for the win.

      In the field sprint, Pepper led out Charleton for the last lap and a half to reel some stragglers in, delivering Charleton almost to the final turn, but without a massive amount of speed.

      Charleton jumped hard and led the sprint but was nipped at the line by a NorCal Velo rider.

      Word of the victory reached Hypoxia at 4:30 am. Donkey carts were overturned, and food stalls were set ablaze in jubilant demonstrations. The Ministry of Truth Regulation called for peace and declared a national month-long holiday.

      "I will slaughter all my goats tonight," said one delirious Hypoxia resident.

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